Lost in the baby fog

Hello from a long lost friend! I'd be amazed if there is still anyone out there and if there is, thank you so much for still stopping by. And know that I have missed you!

The last three months has been a complete blur. I can't even believe it's been that long already. I just can't believe my baby is three and a half months old. It's been a rollercoaster but great fun and I haven't looked back. I am enjoying motherhood immensely, much to my own surprise! The first month or so were really tough, with a colicky baby and the sleepless nights that come with that, as well as the usual learning curve and incredible whirlwind that comes with a new baby. But the colic went away suddenly a few weeks in, and things got much easier and we are blessed with a pretty easy baby on the whole. He is a very sweet, happy little guy and gets cuter by the day.

During that first difficult month I honestly thought work is so much easier. Being a mother is the most full time job I've ever had. You don't get to clock off and leave, you don't get weekends or holidays, heck you don't even get nights off! But once I got my rhythm it's been amazing and now I can't even think about going back to work yet. I really never thought I would feel this way and it's taken me by surprise. But I am also struggling with finding me again. Sometimes I still crave my old life, and I miss the office and my friends and being able to go out wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, and adult company and adult conversation that doesn't involve talk about babies.

The other part of the quest to find me again is getting back into a healthy mindset. I need to get the baby weight off and have a lot of work to do. It's so easy to fall into the trap of eating more and doing less. I hang out with my new mummy friends all the time and eat lunches out almost every day as well as meet for coffees frequently. People tell you all the time to make the most of breastfeeding and eat cake! I don't agree with that but I have fallen prey to more desserts and sweet afternoon treats than I would like. I am also finding it hard to get any exercise in. I hate that I am so unfit compared to just before I was pregnant and feel like an utter sloth. I know it takes time to build up strength and stamina again though. I am walking a lot, which is my main exercise. I try to walk everywhere with Baby in the pram as much as possible, and am building up to more and more all the time. I would like to join the gym again and looked into it when Baby was about 8 weeks old, but I was naive about how ready I would be to leave him in the creche, I just couldn't do it. I'm still not quite ready to do it, plus I now have to consider the cost of both gym membership as well as the cost of the creche on top of that, now that I am no longer being paid my full salary. I have been meaning to break out the Wii Fit again too, but I don't get 5 minutes to myself when I am at home with the baby when I am not trying to take a shower and get dressed or do laundry. I don't have a babysitter and it is hard to find exercise I can bring the little one to. For now I will have to keep up the walking, do some Wii Fit when Hubby is around, and concentrate more on my eating.

Did I mention I was horrified when I weighed myself last week? 30 extra pounds (on top of the extra I already had!) is quite literally weighing me down!! I was toying with the idea of rejoining WW but decided against it. I also can't really follow any rigid diet plans as I'm breastfeeding and intend to continue for a while, but I think I have done this enough to have a basic knowledge of healthy eating. I just need to make sure I am still eating enough but eating the right things. It will come off more slowly but that's ok, there's no hurry.

I'm back!!